Mom Ripped for Claims Ex-Husband Is Controlling Her Social Media: ‘Petty’
Members of a popular internet forum were left disappointed after one mother revealed how a social media post jeopardized the co-parenting arrangement with her ex-husband.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, Redditor u/miniT354345 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she and her ex were on good terms—until she posted a video of him under the influence at a recent event.
Titled, “[Am I the a******] for refusing to take down a video of my kids’ father dancing at my brother’s wedding?” the post has received more than 10,000 upvotes and 3,500 comments in the last day.
“My children’s dad and I got separated and divorced 2 years ago,” OP began. “We’re on good terms regarding co-parenting.”
Continuing to explain that her ex-husband remains close to her brother, the original poster said she had no problem with his being invited to the wedding, as it was an opportunity for her children to spend more time with their father.
The original poster also said that after the wedding, she received a furious phone call from her ex, informing her that she’d caught him in a compromising position.
“I was taking a video of my mom and kids at the wedding and posted it on my [Instagram],” OP wrote. “Hours later, I get a call from my ex yelling about my camera catching him dancing drunkenly in the background.
“He told me he’s getting engaged to his conservative girlfriend soon, and [that if she] or her conservative family saw him in this video then there’s gonna be trouble,” OP continued. “I thought that was silly.
“He demanded that I take it down but I declined,” OP added. “[My] mom is saying I should take it down [too] but I feel like he’s trying to control my social media activity.”
Weddings serve as an opportunity to celebrate love, unity and a growing community as separate families morph into one.
With the presence of alcohol and encouragement to drink at every turn, weddings can also serve as an opportunity for marrying couples, bridesmaids, groomsmen, their parents and other wedding guests to make fools of themselves.
stevanovicigor/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Although momentary embarrassment is just that—momentary, most weddings are professionally filmed and photographed.
And over the last two decades, wedding footage capabilities have expanded significantly, thanks to social media and cell phone cameras that continue to improve in quality.
Despite the expanded potential to capture memories that can last a lifetime, so many cameras can quickly transform wedding environments, and according to longtime photographer and Wedding Day Timeline founder Hooman Bahrani, not all guests wish to be captured drinking and dancing.
“People are very aware of phones and professional cameras and their presence definitely affects the dynamics at weddings,” Bahrani told Newsweek. “It’s not uncommon for some people to approach me and let me know in no uncertain terms they do not want to be photographed at all.
“In other cases, some people clearly are performing above and beyond for the sake of the camera,” Bahrani added.
As many social platforms push to incorporate more video and less text, certain trends previously viewed in a negative light have become far more accepted, further changing wedding dynamics to include an even larger emphasis on recording anything and everything.
“TikTok has also influenced cameras at weddings,” Bahrani told Newsweek. “7 [to] 10 years ago, it was common for couples to ask photographers to recreate images they found on Pinterest.
“Most photographers frowned on this,” Bahrani added. “Now, it’s not uncommon to see couples and wedding parties or guests using their own phones to recreate trends.”
While professional photography and editing takes time, allowing for a higher level of discretion regarding embarrassing photographs and videos, social media posts are quick, and, like the scenario described by the original poster, uploaded immediately for the world to see.
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors questioned the original poster’s motives for keeping the video up despite her ex-husband’s requests, as well as her desire to compromise the former couple’s co-parenting arrangement.
“Is that ‘silly’ video worth destroying your co-parenting relationship with him right now?” Redditor u/chriswillar wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 26,000 upvotes. “Because he is absolutely in the right to demand you take it down if he’s featured in it.
“No one says you have to delete it off your phone, so the memory isn’t gone, but it’s petty of you to insist it should remain online,” they continued. “[You’re the a******].”
Redditor u/thejackalreborn, whose comment has received nearly 5,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.
“I don’t think he actually needs a reason, if someone asks you to take down a pic/video of them then you should,” they wrote. “I don’t really see what you gain from keeping it up and it clearly hurts him and damages your relationship with the parent of your children.”
“You film someone, that someone doesn’t want that on the internet, you take it down,” Redditor u/LordNeo added, receiving more than 2,000 upvotes. “It’s not about your social media activity…it’s about his own boundaries.”
“If he’s in the video, he has a right to ask that you take it off social media,” Redditor u/GlitterSparkleDevine chimed in. “You’re just saying no to be petty.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/miniT354345 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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